


A Moment of Grief

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 05:24:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nobody goes through life without a few regrets. Especially Bellatrix Lestrange</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Moment of Grief

**Author's Note:**

> ok if you think you've read this before i kind of ripped it off something i wrote earlier and published on another site but i promise this is my original work!! ((also disclaimer i am not responsible for the quality of this work i wrote this like 2 years ago i'm not the same person anymore))

**November 2nd, 1988. Azkaban.**

Cold. 

It was cold. Freezing, really. Bellatrix felt cold gusts of air whip through the prison bars to slap her in the face and sting her skin. She huddled in a corner, utterly humiliated and drew her rags tighter about her body. Prison had not treated her well, and all that was left of her was a thin, bony wisp that threatened to be blown away with the wind. 

A Dementor swept past, and then another, and she could almost feel her soul escaping through her pores. She fancied that the never-ending gales were actually broken souls that had been ripped out of the hollow bodies that were trapped here. Sometimes she could almost believe it, believe that the next puff that stung her was a fragment of what once was a person. 

She shouldn't have survived this long. She hadn't thought anyone could survive Azkaban this long. But she had something that her fellow prisoners didn't. 

She had _him_. 

The only spark that kept her flame burning was the thought of the Dark Lord. He couldn't be dead, she _knew_ he couldn't be dead. He was alive, but recuperating. And when he was strong enough, he would come back for her. 

Or so she told herself. 

It was an especially cold night. Most nights were bearable since Bellatrix had gotten used to the chill, but nights like this were rare. She pressed her face into her rags, ignoring the stench, in an attempt to relieve her numb nose. The relentless battering of the drafts had weakened her. Her limbs were sore, her eyelids heavy, and she allowed them to droop, falling into a fitful daydream-like state. 

_"No, Bella, give it back!" A nine-year old Andromeda yelled, running after her sister._

_Bella laughed- a tinkling, ecstatic laugh. Andromeda echoed her laugh and jumped on Bella. The two girls wrestled for a while until Bella playfully gave up Andromeda's precious Quill. Andromeda snatched it from her and stuck out her tongue._

_Narcissa, the youngest of the three sisters, stuck her head out of a window to see what was going on. Bellatrix smiled at her fondly._

_"Bella! Pack your trunk!" Their mother yelled from inside the house._

_"You... you're leaving already?" Andromeda stammered. "I thought you were leaving tomorrow."_

_"I am leaving tomorrow. I need to pack." Bella said._

_Andromeda stared at Bella, suddenly frightened and wide-eyed. Bella could see how much her younger sister was going to miss her, and she had to struggle to fight back tears. She couldn't let Andromeda see her cry, not when the girl looked to her for courage._

_Bella knelt down and looked into Andromeda's eyes. "Hey, in two years, you'll be at Hogwarts too! It's not going to be very long."_

_Andromeda nodded, biting her lip. Tears welled up in her eyes and she rapidly blinked them away._

_"You can have this to take to Hogwarts." She held out the Quill that they had been fighting about only a few moments ago._

_Bella almost laughed then, but the young girl's face was so serious that she decided to indulge her, and she took the Quill from the outstretched hand. No sooner had Bella pocketed it than her sister pounced on her and tackled her with a hug that she returned with equal fervour. Only once she was alone in her room did she allow the tears to flow._

In a dark cell in Azkaban, an older Bellatrix Lestrange writhed on the floor, half-unconscious, trying to stir herself back to consciousness and push away unwanted memories. 

_"Slytherin!" The Sorting Hat roared._

_Bella literally swelled with pride and clapped so furiously her hands turned red and developed blisters after a few days._

_"That's my sister!" She told anyone who would listen._

_Andromeda shyly ran up to the Slytherin table and took the free seat next to her oldest sister, looking up hopefully, and she wasn't disappointed. Bella was literally beaming with happiness and Andromeda couldn't help but smile, a little proud herself. Bella had never been as proud of anyone._

A small sound escaped the inert Bellatrix and a tear trickled down her cheek, although that may have been an effect of the cold. Was she reduced to wallowing in grief and long-lost memories? She was Bellatrix Lestrange, one of the most feared Death Eaters of the Dark Lord! No other woman could claim to be as deadly or as feared as her. 

But deep down, she knew that she would trade all of that fear for one woman's love. 

_"Dromeda, please!" Narcissa pleaded._

_"Leave her, Cissy." Bella said in a voice that was not her own. "She's chosen her path."_ "Like you've chosen yours" Andromeda said contemptuously. 

_"What can that **Mudblood** ever give you?" Bella broke out. "You deserve so much more, and you choose him?"_

_"Would you rather I chose you?" Andromeda asked angrily._

_"Yes!" Bella said bluntly._

_Andromeda shook her head. "You've turned into a monster, Bella... that Rodolphus. I don't know what's come over you."_

_"You choose the **Mudblood**. You choose the Mudblood over the family that has loved you and cared for you more than he ever has, or he ever will!" Bella screamed._

_Narcissa was crying, her eyes silently begging her sister to stay._

_Andromeda's eyes flashed with anger. "You're not the Bella you used to be! Look at yourself! Do you realise what you've become? What you stand for?"_

_"I stand for our family!" Bella snapped. "I stand for pure-bloods, for wizards, for **US**!"_

_"Our family?" Andromeda yelled with equal family. "You know, I used to think our family actually **meant** something. But now you're all muggle-hating, pure-blooded maniacs!"_

_"You talk like you don't belong to this family, but you do! You're not one of them."_

_" **This** isn't the family I belong to. This isn't **my** family anymore."_ _Bella looked at her sister and realised that there was no changing her mind. She'd thought that their love for each other was enough to bridge their differences, but not anymore. She struggled to find a remnant of that affection, but all she found was anger and bitterness._

_"Go." Bella said, contempt lacing her every word. "Leave."_

_"No." Narcissa spoke finally. "Dromeda, please."_

_Andromeda shook her head. "Sorry, Cissy."_

_As the apology left her sister's mouth, Bella felt a sudden urge to apologise herself. To take back all of her harsh words. To forgive her sister, tell her to be happy, that family was more important than what stood between them._

_The desire to keep Andromeda near her was so strong that her lips actually parted and a small noise escaped._

_Andromeda turned to look at Bella, one last time._

_The hatred in her eyes was the final blow, and Bella felt her knees sag as her sister regarded her with utter revulsion. She wanted to scream, to yell, to say **something** that would stop her and fix everything. But she had gone numb and all she could do was stare._

_Andromeda disapparated._

_Narcissa ran back inside, crying._

_Bella slowly sank to the ground._  


* * *

  


**May 2nd, 1998. Hogwarts.**

There was chaos everywhere. And Bellatrix was at the heart of it. She ran gleefully across the tables, shooting random curses into the crowd, not caring whom they hit. Large spaces were such a change from the confinements of Azkaban. The commotion in the Great Hall was music to her ears. 

"Harry! Where'd he go?" 

"Colin! Colin, no! Wake up!" 

"Mum?" 

"Go upstairs, you're too young to fight!" 

"He went there..." 

"Mother? Where are you?" 

"I don't want to-" 

"Don't you argue with me!" 

"MOTHER!" 

Bellatrix turned at the volume of that last shout which had come from right behind her. A young witch stood before her, her eyes wild and hair dishevelled. 

Nymphadora Tonks. 

Her niece. 

Bellatrix watched as the expression on the witch's face turned to shock, and then horror. 

"Do you miss your mummy?" Bellatrix teased. 

Tonks raised her wand. "Expellia-" 

With a flick of her wand, Bellatrix knocked Tonks against the wall. Tonks's wand flew out of her hand, leaving her utterly vulnerable. She crumpled against the wall in pain. It looked like she'd hurt her arm badly. Bellatrix knew she ought to cast the Killing Curse, but her arms refused to move. 

_"Look at yourself!"_ Andromeda's voice echoed in her head. 

"Shut up." Bellatrix muttered, raising her wand shakily to point it at Tonks. 

_"You're not the Bella you used to be!"_

Tonks blinked her eyes blearily. 

_"Have you ever bothered to see what you've become?"_

Tonks was reaching for her wand. Bellatrix knew she didn't have much time left before Tonks was on her feet again. She had to strike at once. 

_"Our family is not worth standing for!"_

Family... She'd forgotten what family was a long time ago. 

Bellatrix stared at Tonks, her limbs still numb. Family. 

A sudden fit of anger possessed her. Was _she_ , Bellatrix Lestrange, going to let voices in her head get to her? 

"Crucio!" 

Tonks screamed, dropping her wand. The torture lasted for barely a few seconds. Bellatrix couldn't do it. She couldn't bring herself to actually torture her niece. She remembered what she'd told the Potter boy - that you couldn't use an Unforgivable Curse unless you really meant it. 

Bellatrix recalled her parting words to her sister. _"Leave, and never come back."_

Her sister had come back. In the form of her daughter. Bellatrix turned away. She would not be the one to turn on her own family. 

She had scarcely moved a few steps when somebody yelled. "Avada Kedavra!" 

Bellatrix whipped around, wand at the ready. 

A horde of Death Eaters turned the corner and disappeared. Tonks's body stared at her from the floor, glassy-eyed. 

"NO!" Bellatrix burst out. She choked on a sob. 

One moment of grief. 

She allowed herself one moment of grief. 

Then she pushed forward into the battle, allowing her grief to turn into rage, which she channelled onto all of the people who could have saved her niece. 

The last trace of Andromeda she would ever see.


End file.
